Shut Down
by flowerpower17
Summary: Esme is left scared and alone when a party goes wrong... Carlisle and Edward swap opposing views, as old wounds are opened...


As every minute ticked by, Carlisle sat and watched as the clock ticked closer and closer to that ever elusive twelve midnight. He sat in a cream coloured arm chair, by a blazing fire that Rose and Emmett had insisted they light for him. The TV was blaringly loud, as images flashed in front of his eyes. Ever since Carlisle faked death, and Alice Edward, Jasper and Emmett brining him home, he had been the focus of attention. Not something he enjoyed or wanted. In fact lately it had been annoying and tiresome. Carlisle was never left for a minutes peace, there was always someone with him. And if due to some odd occurrence he was, as soon as someone arrived, he could see the pure horror on their face that he was alone. Though tonight, Carlisle had finally put a stop to it, well to everyone apart from Jasper and Emmett, who insisted on staying in the house. Carlisle could hear their constant arguing about who was the best at catching prey. The argument seemed to go on for ever as he sat there.

His death had been explained away at the hospital, however he was forced to take time off, due to his 'traumatic experience'. For a few weeks Carlisle had been overjoyed to spend precious time with the family, but after a while of being fussed over and around. Well he was useless and it was a feeling he hated. Esme, Bella, Alice and Rose, were all out at a party that he had no idea what it was for, just that Esme's home renovations firm was throwing it, and families attended. Unfortunately Carlisle had been made to stay behind for appearance sake, even though he was back to his old self, well for the most part. They were all more than insistent of that small detail. Renesmee was hunting with Edward. Carlisle had finally given up, he stood up swiftly there was only so much relaxation and reading that one could do.

It was then he heard the front door open, he smiled at the thought of seeing all four women. Carlisle had barely taken two steps, when a call from Alice told him something was wrong. Alice and Bella were first to see Carlisle, as their faces only spelled trouble. Esme face was buried into Rose's shoulder, as Rose steered her upstairs. Carlisle went to follow them, but Bella stood in the way and shook her head. "**No Carlisle, it took Rose half an hour to get her into the car**" Bella said, as Carlisle opened his mouth to speak, but swiftly shut it, as he heard a door upstairs close. "**There was an altercation, some relative got a little rowdy, and started to hit on Bella.**" Alice said, as Carlisle stood waiting for the rest. "**Esme told him where to go, and he wouldn't take no for an answer, he... he slapped Esme**" Alice explained quietly, as Bella's eyes fell to the floor in front of her.

A low growl came from Carlisle, as he looked at both Bella and Alice. "**He did what?!**" Carlisle growled, as the front door opened again. Edward and Renesmee appeared, followed by Jasper and Emmett at the top of the stairs. Both Edward and Neisse had smiles on their faces, clearly unaware of what had happened, as Edward dropped his happy demeanour. Bella raised her eyes to meet Carlisle's, "**She shut down, wouldn't talk or move. She muttered something about it happening again..**." Bella said, as Neisse looked at them clueless as to what they were talking about. Jasper decided to add his part, "**Carlisle she is scared, I ... she is too scared**" Jasper said, as Emmett put a hand on Jaspers shoulder. Carlisle thoughts began to wonder, he wanted to rip the guy apart, not only for Bella but for Esme. Carlisle hadn't even made the move he was going to before Edward placed both hands on his shoulders and shook him gently. "**Its not worth it Carlisle. Don't!**" He said, it didn't take much for the rest of them to know what Carlisle was going to do.

The soft click of a door was heard through the silence, as Rose walked down stairs. Her face saddened, and her eyes were filled with emotion as she walked up to Carlisle. "**I have a message**" Rose began, her tone was hesitant almost as if she didn't want to say something. "**Esme, she said to stay away. She doesn't want to see anyone**" Rose announced, as she turned and made her way back upstairs passing Jasper and Emmett. "**Rose**" Carlisle called, frozen to the spot. "**Carlisle she doesn't want to see you, any of you**." Rose told them coldly as she disappeared back to Esme. Edward forced Carlisle to look at him, as the others began to flood into the main living room. "**She wants to see you Carlisle. She wants you there**." Edward told him, as he was surprised to see Carlisle shake his head. "**No that is not her wish Edward. You heard Rose... she doesn't want to see any one.**" Carlisle repeated, as Edward could not believe his ears. "I** know you can hear what she is thinking, but no Edward.**" Carlisle told him.

Carlisle pulled away from Edward, and walked over to the big glass windows. A blank stare looked out into the forest, as there were several mumbles from the others. "**I don't understand**" Neisse began, as she looked around. "**If she doesn't want to see anyone why is Rose there?**" She asked innocently. Bella coughed, as Edward shook his head, "**Not now Neisse**." He said, as the eyes fell upon Carlisle. "**With your permission Bella and Edward?**" He asked, as their reply was yes. "**Rose and Esme, before I knew them, were abused by their husbands, and future husband in Rose's case.**" Carlisle cleared his throat as his voice wavered slightly. "**As a doctor, I say that the symptoms of shock are setting in. Also I can only guess that the fear of those who are of the male gender, and a feeling of helplessness**." Carlisle was hardly speaking as he finished. Neisse nodded as she asked another question, "**Carlisle, does that mean she is afraid of you?**" She said innocently, as Bella nudged her in the ribs. "**Yes it possibly does**." Carlisle replied as the best smile he could muster came across his face. Looking at the innocent face or Renesmee, Carlisle ran out of the house. He stopped just short of leaving the front step, as he sat on the floor. His head in his hands, as he could not bear the thought of Esme being afraid of him.

For three days, Carlisle stood outside the door of Esme's and his own room. Never daring to knock, he stood and stared at it. Carlisle only moved to change clothes, wash and see that everyone else was ok. It was nearing the end of the third day, when Edward had finally snapped. "**Carlisle**" He said, as he walked purposefully towards him, standing in the living room. "**Yes**" Carlisle replied, as his eyes fell upon Edward. He could see that Edward was unhappy, as his fists were clenching and unclenching as he stood there. "**She wants you with her**" He said simply, as Carlisle shook his head. "**No**" The words hit Edward like a ton of bricks. That was the final straw. "**You are such a pig headed idiot Carlisle**" Edward said, bordering on yelling at him. Carlisle saw the family one by one slowly gather in the living room. As Edward raised a hand to them all. "**Stay out of this, I have had enough from him**" Edward said, his eyes not moving from the figure of Carlisle. "**Edward, dont be stupid**." Jasper said, "**Come on Edward**" Bella chimed in. "**NO**" He yelled.

"**If you have something to say Edward... say it.**" Carlisle knew that he was only adding fuel to a fire but he hated to see Edward so angry, and the fact Esme had not left the room for three days. It was starting to eat at Carlisle. Rose was the only one who Esme would talk to and even then, Rose had said it was just yes and no answers. "**Yes Carlisle I do. Why is it that you stand here, worrying about Esme, your wife who you are 'supposed' to love. When you could be up there consoling her? Your pride and your own stupid attitude are ... they are the problem here.**" Edward ranted at Carlisle, "She's **our mother, and the one mother that I can ... I have known Esme nearly all my life, and yet you just stand here, not seeming bothered by the fact she has shut everyone out**" Carlisle raised a hand to Edward, as all Edward saw was red. A fist flew out at Carlisle, knocking him backwards as he smashed though a table. Alice let out a small scream, "**Stop**" Neisse called out to Edward, as he took no notice. Carlisle did not put up a fight, as a further blow reigned down upon him. "**Come on Carlisle, fight back**" Edward challenged, as again Carlisle shook his head.

It was enough for Edward to throw a couple more punches before stopping, and backing away. "**So much for being a father, and a husband. You are useless at both these days.**" Edward yelled at him. "**Maybe you should have died. It would have saved us a lot of trouble..**" He told him, as Carlisle got up and dusted wooden splinters from his clothes. "**For what I put you all through, I should. And despite what you think Edward, I have my reasons.**" He said, as Edward glared at him. "**Reasons for what, not being here, for leaving us... Esme needs you, and you are turning your back. Just like you did when I left all those years ago. Maybe you didn't want me back, did you even want Esme? Or did you just feel sorry for her? I don't even know why I admired you, your not even man enough to fight for what you want, and the one you love? That's you down to a T Carlisle isn't it, you just don't care!**" Edward yelled, as Carlisle bowed his head, and walked past him. His eyes trained on the door as he walked out of the house and into the forest. Edward turned to see the looks of horror on the faces of his family. Bella and Neisse walked out, as Emmett just shook his head, "**You're the idiot Edward**" He told him, as Alice followed Emmett upstairs.

Jasper was the one who was left, "**Anything to add Jasper**" Edward said tartly, as his shoulders hunched. "**Yes Edward, I understand why you said what you did**" Jasper replied, the clear look of pain in his face. "**Ohh really, and why is that?**" Edward asked almost joking about it. "**You don't want to loose them. You are the one who is afraid. You hear what Esme is thinking, and she wanted to leave, am I correct?**" Jasper asked, as shock appeared on Edwards face as he nodded, "**How..**" He said, as Jasper forced a smile. "**She is torn, Esme's emotions are a mess. Though I can clearly feel what she does, and anxiety to mean meant she was thinking of running.**" Jasper told him, as Edward collapsed on to the white leather sofa, as Jasper sat next to him. "**Jasper I hear everything, I cant stop it, she wants Carlisle there, then she doesn't want him to see her like that, and then she gets scared that he will leave her. Its just one thing after another, and Carlisle he isn't even thinking. He thinks of us all, and then he shuts off. He thinks about baseball, the hospital. When he knows im around he doesn't think that much.**" Edward said, as Jasper put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "**Carlisle is numb, he feels fear, hurt and when he left I could not distinguish what he felt, there was just so much**" Jasper told Edward, as Edward stood up. "**I... I need to apologise.**" Edward said as Jasper nodded. Edward took off, after the scent of his father.

Not long after Edward left, Rose appeared with Esme clinging on to her. From the picture of strength that Esme had been she looked so frail, and child like, as they both came down the stairs. Rose stood as beautiful as ever, as both women walked down towards Jasper. Jasper stood up, as a beaming smile crossed his face. "**Hello**" Esme said faintly, as Jasper wrapped his arm around her. He noticed the slight flinch as Jasper placed a small kiss on her cheek, as Emmett came back in. Esme smiled again, she seemed slightly more confident as Emmett embraced her. Her flinch was a little less detectable, as Alice, Bella and Neisse arrived back. By the time everyone had greeted Esme, she seemed at ease with her surroundings. "**Its good to have you back grandma**" Neisse said, with her best smile. "**I'm sorry Esme, I should have dealt with that myself, I never thought..**" Bella started, as Esme shook her head. "**You are my daughter, and I would do this all over again. I'm sorry about my absence. It brought back some things I hadnt dealt with. Thanks Rose.**" She announced to them all, "**Its ok, we understand Esme.**" Rose and Jasper said. "**Carlisle and Edward are..**." Jasper began as he wasn't too sure what to say about that. "**I heard them, those two can be such stuborn fools**" Esme said, as the group moved into the living room. Esme clapped a hand across her mouth, as she saw the sight of the table. "**Those two wont sit down for a week once I have finished with them**" Esme scolded, as the others laughed. They all spoke for a while waiting of the two others to arrive back.

Edward had finally caught up to Carlisle, as he saw his father kneeling on the ground in the middle of the meadow. "**Carlisle**" Edward called, as Carlisle raised a hand to him, "**I don't want to fight Edward. Just go**" He said, Edward could hear the pain and hurt in his fathers voice as Edward walked over to him and knelt down. "**Let me speak and then I shall go. I spoke with Jasper**" He told Carlisle, not looking at his father. Carlisle stayed quiet as Edward has asked. "**He made me see some things, I shouldn't have snapped at you Carlisle**." He said, nearly choking on his own words as Edward realised how really unfair he had been. Carlisle felt like he was broken, as his arms wrapped around Edward tightly. "**What you said Edward made sense**" He told him, as Edward pushed Carlisle away from him. "**No... don't you ever say that to me. _Ever_**." He babbled. "**I was scared Carlisle, I could hear... I heard everything. And then you... you would hide your thoughts from me. I hate myself for saying such stupid things, and Jasper explained. It was me, I don't want to loose either of you. And I cant go through that again.**" Edward was close to melt down as he looked at Carlisle.

"**I never spoke to you like the others have. I did not think I needed to after you came back. And when you stayed clear of the subject I thought I was fine with it. Turns out that, im not, and with Esme thinking she was going to leave, you just waiting and no one doing anything.. I'm so sorry Carlisle. I couldnt take it anymore.**" Edward said as he collapsed into Carlisle. His fathers arms once again wrapped around Edward as Carlisle took a breath. "**I thought that you would talk to me if you wanted to Edward. I decided not to push you about that. I was giving you time, a mistake on my part... I see that now**" Carlisle told him, as Edwards fists clamped down on his fathers shirt. "**You have every right to snap at me Edward, I have been useless as both a father and husband. Leaving you all, was never something I wanted or planned. I never meant for that to happen that way.**" Carlisle realised just how badly he had messed things up for Edward. "**You wont loose me Edward, or Esme for that matter. I made you a promise to stand by you, and the family. As long as I am alive, you wont loose me.**" Carlisle gripped Edward as he spoke. "**Esme is not leaving, I know that, I don't know how I just do. Edward I have put too much onto you, and I only wish that i can take it back. I kept my thoughts from you, because I could see how distressed you were. I thought it unfair that you should hear mine as well**" At that Edward laughed a little. "**Always thinking of others**" He said, "**Why have you not seen Esme yet? I mean she thinks about you all the time, and then she thinks that she will be scared of you**" Edward asked, more confused by that fact.

Carlisle sighed as he let go of Edward. "**I was respecting her wishes. You have no idea how hard it is to not to burst though the door. To keep away. But Esme would need her own space, and she needs to come to terms with what happened, even if it was only one slap it is enough to... its enough to destroy her trust in others**." Carlisle explained. "**If I was to go and see her before she was ready, or I acted too aggressively... Edward I would never harm anyone, not family and especially not Esme, but I cannot take the chance she might think that I would hurt her. I dont want her thinking for a second that I might**" For the first time Edward understood why Carlisle had kept away, and acted so calmly about everything. There was a brief look that spoke volumes between the pair, before Edward bowed his head. "**Carlisle I should have never...**" He said before being interrupted. "**No Edward, you should have, and we are going to talk tomorrow, once we have both got out heads clear.**" Carlisle said as Edward agreed. "**Now I think its time for us to go back and prove that we haven't killed each other.**" He said a little more happily. Edwards eyes again looked at Carlisle, "**Why did you not defend yourself? Or fight back?**" Edward asked, as Carlisle smiled. **"I could never lay a hand on you Edward. Anyway getting it out of your system had to feel better?"** He said, as Edward sheepishly nodded. "**Sorry about that. I wont ever do that again. I.. was out of control**" Edward admitted, "**I agree, you pack quiet a punch. Though i would really perefer not to be hit by you again!**" Carlisle said, as Edward laughed and nodded, as both he and Carlisle began to make their way back to the house.

Carlisle stopped before the house came into sight. "**I should have done this three days ago**" He said, as Edward was the one to disagree, "**You made the right choice Carlisle, I see that now. I didnt understand your reasons, I do now**." He said, as another brief hug was passed between them, as Carlisle and Edward burst though the door. Both men made their way up the stairs as Carlisle knocked and opened the door to the room where Esme had been. To both of their horrors, Esme was no where to be seen. "**Carlisle she went. I ... not again I cant do this again. ESME!!**" He called, as they both flew downstairs in a blind panic. Edward was first to come face to face with Esme who was stood slightly to the left of the stairs. Esme took Edward into a bone crushing embrace. "**Im here Edward, its ok... calm down its all ok.**" She said, her voice like honey as she spoke to him. Her hand ran through his hair, as she stroked the back of his head softly. Carlisle stood and watched Edward and Esme, as the family smiled at Carlisle and walked out. "**Alice and Rose are taking us shopping**" Emmett grumbled, a clear sign of pain embedded in every word. "**Edward you are staying here. We wont be back till later**." Bella said, as she shut the door and the familiar hum of Rose's red convertible and Edwards Volvo left the garage.

Edward finally let go of Esme, as she began to speak to Carlisle. "**I...**" Was as far as she got before the hushed voice of Carlisle was heard and Esme threw herself at him. Her head rested on his shoulder as she moulded her whole body close to his. "**I should have been with you Esme, you know I would never hurt you.. don't you?**" He said, as Esme's eyes showed her pain. "**Of course, better than anyone but it brought back feelings that I have never felt in over centuries. I was wrong to shut you out, but I didn't want anyone to see me like that. Carlisle I love you and I just couldnt put you through seeing me like that, but I see I put you through much worse.**" Esme replied, as she pulled Carlisle closer to her, if that was even possible. In one swift movement from Carlisle, he picked Esme up as she lay in his arms, Carlisle motioned Edward into the living room. Carlisle sat on the sofa with Esme in his lap, as Edward sat next to them. With one arm around Esme, Carlisle placed his other around Edward, as a contented sigh was given from both Esme and Edward. Esme's hands took Edwards as she squeezed them tightly. "**I'm sorry for what you heard Edward. I was upset, and scared**" She said, as Edward nodded and shuffled closer to Carlisle and Esme taking them both into a hug. "**I understand, sorry you heard our little disagreement**" Edward said, as he looked at the table. "**Edward Anthony Cullen, and Doctor Cullen. You two are both in trouble for that. And I expect it to be cleaned up as well**." She said in her best annoyed voice she could get. It was the only time she ever used their full names and titles, when Esme was mad or annoyed, that was the sign. "**Smile and she wont make us do that**." Carlisle said, as Esme playfully punched them both. "**Hey**" Edward said as Carlisle laughed, and Edward grinned.

"**Its good to have you back Esme**." Carlisle said, as she settled back against his cool chest. "**I think I shall go**." Edward said as he got up, both Esme and Carlisle shook their heads, "**Please stay Edward.**" Esme asked, as Edward again sat down at his fathers side. "**I cant loose either of you, please dont make me go though that again.**" Edward begged as Esme realised just was Edward had heard. "**I wont leave you Edward, you are like a son to me. I shall never go.**" She told him, "**You dont have to worry about that Edward, Esme and I are here for a while yet.**" He said, as Edward reached out and hugged them both. He had never felt so helpless and alone before, first he had lost Carlisle and even now he was back there was still that disbelief he would stay, and then Esme. The two parents who he could never thank enough or love enough. "**Promise me that you two will never leave**" Edward said, as both Esme and Carlisle nodded, as the three of them hugged each other closely. They stayed there for a good while before Esme closed her eyes, and Edward followed suit. Carlisle stayed awake, his arms around both Esme and Edward, who were leaning against him.


End file.
